Receiving a terminal diagnosis can be very overwhelming in and of itself. On top of that, sharing news of it while you are coming to terms can feel even more difficult.
Because this process is unique to each person, remember that your path doesn’t need to follow what others expect or what you feel you “need” to do. This is a time to put yourself first and follow what you feel is right. As you navigate what this means for you and the people you care about, we’ve put together a few things to consider to make this process easier as you face these conversations.
Decide who you want to tell
Receiving a terminal diagnosis can be a very personal thing. If you do not feel comfortable sharing with everyone, that is something you can decide. If you want to keep this information restricted to just your close family and friends, you can decide which people you want to tell about the diagnosis. It is never selfish to know your boundaries and to be clear setting them. You can ask those with whom you share to keep the information confidential if you do not wish for the diagnosis to be public information.
This can also be a time to re-evaluate relationships. If you have become distant or estranged to a friend or family member, reaching out and sharing this information can be understandably more difficult. Take time to process on your own terms and decide if you would like to reconnect with those people to tell them about your diagnosis and resolve any past feelings.
Figure out what you are comfortable sharing
Along with setting boundaries of who to tell, you can also decide what to tell. You may not feel comfortable opening up to the more intimate details while you learn to adjust. With your closest friends and family, you may feel comfortable revealing more personal details of your diagnosis and your experience and what you are feeling. With less familiar people, you may only feel comfortable sharing your diagnosis without any details.
Again, you can be clear with those you share what your expectations are with confidentiality surrounding what you share with them.
Make time to share
Find a time and place where you are most comfortable. You may find yourself being comfortable sharing with a few people at a time, or you may decide that you would prefer to have these conversations one-on-one. Pick a time and a place where YOU feel most comfortable and safe sharing. This can help provide some structure during a time of uncertainty and can help you open up about your experience if you have already made the time and space for this conversation ahead of time.
Know your expectations
During this time, you may be looking for someone to listen or help you process. You may be looking for someone to step in and help you tackle some daily activities to lessen your workload. Or, you may be looking for someone to help take your mind off the diagnosis and to go experience things you enjoy.
Take some time to think about what it is you need from people so you can better communicate that with them. You will likely be expecting different things from different people, so having an idea of what role they play in your life and how that affects your expectations can be helpful prior to sharing your diagnosis with loved ones.
Sharing your diagnosis looks a little different for everybody, and may be different based on who you are sharing with. There are many ways you can go about it, and however you choose to approach this is a great step towards processing this for yourself as well. In an ideal world, sharing this diagnosis can help bring your family and friends together to form a support system for you to help bring you comfort during this time.
— Missy RoneyAs people grow old, they may feel more and more isolated. Pets can be a good remedy to that loneliness. Comforting and uplifting, pets provide a unique type of companionship.
There are many benefits to owning a pet as an elder. From lowering stress to providing company, there are lifestyle changes that come with owning a pet. Additionally, animals can improve one’s physical and mental health in multiple ways: they alleviate anxiety, mitigate against loneliness and may even reduce the risk of cardiovascular problems. Recent research concluded that companion animals may reduce loneliness, depression and anxiety in older adults. Indeed, the popularity of pet therapy is justified!
However, getting and taking care of a pet at an older age can be a challenge. Some pets require more attention and care than others, so it is important to determine your level of commitment.
Dogs are called a man’s best friend for a reason. Perfect companions, they provide a level of emotional closeness that you may not find with another pet. Particularly for those who struggle with loneliness and isolation, dogs are great pets to establish a strong bond with. Dogs can be catalysts for greater life changes: they can force the owner to get out of the house, exercise and meet other pet owners. Adopting an older and already-trained dog is a great option, especially for older adults.
However, dogs are high maintenance and are costly pets. Potty training, vet visits and round-the-clock care don’t capture the extent to which they depend on their owner’s care. These pets most resemble what it is like to have a child. Thus, dedication and motivation are crucial when it comes to owning a dog.
The cat lady stereotype often gets an unjustifiably bad reputation. Indeed, they are popular pets for older people for a reason. Requiring less training, they are often good alternatives to dogs because they can be just as comforting and friendly. Russian Blue, American Shorthair, and Scottish Fold cats are the best breeds for older individuals because of their low care levels and moderate energy levels.
Indeed, cats may be more detached from their owners than dogs. Some cats have stronger personalities and can be less social. It is hard to predict what kind of a personality a cat will have, so you must be prepared for the unexpected when getting a cat.
Hamsters, guinea pigs and chinchillas make perfect furry companions. These pets live in enclosed quarters, so they are easier to keep out of the way, unlike cats and dogs. They are great comfort pets too, providing support and companionship.
On the other hand, the word “smelly” often comes to mind when one thinks of rodent creatures. Cleaning their cages can be intensive and requires regular upkeep. Additionally, they may feel more distant to people than cats or dogs, so are best for someone who is not particularly concerned about loneliness.
Pets make great additions to the family, especially for older adults. Providing emotional support and company, they are more than just animals. With a range of options, there is a pet for every kind of owner out there!
